Time to say Good-bye - I was listening to this song by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli as I drove to work this morning. The title actually in Italian is Con te Partiro' and everytime I hear this song I weep. The fullness of the music seems to be a rhythmic cry and the dramatic yearning in their voices helps the listener know regardless of whether you speak Italian or not that this song is about deep feeling and heart felt emotion. This particular morning as I wept listening to my car CD Player hearing Con te Partiro' I thought about all the times I have had to say "good-bye" most especially the times I felt this strong emotion about leaving the person, relationship, or place that I had grown secure in and several episodes came into my mind as I nudged along in the early morning traffic.
I have always avoided good-byes even at formal and informal gatherings I slip away unnoticed if possible to attempt to get out of any slobbering, gooey, or sentimental good-byes and it's not that I don't feel sentimental - I do. I just don't like showing that emotion or getting caught up in my feelings of sadness over the change that every moment in our lives can bring. Maybe this avoidance is tied to my childhhood?I moved alot as a young person with my family and even though my Dad and Mom did a great job of preparing us (my 3 brothers and myself) by helping us look at the move as an adventure.
I do remember a couple of times having a huge lump in my throat when having to say "good-bye" to my best friends. When I was in seventh grade and we lived in Corpus Christi my Dad had a job transfer to New Orleans. That seemed wildly exciting but I had two best friends, Mark Lamb and Patrice Scott. We did everything together. Walked to and from school, drank Mark's parents' margaritas before dinner, planned our halloween costumes and talked about growing into adulthood together. The day we were to drive away Mark came to say good-bye (Patrice and I were fighting so she didn't come) and we just looked at each other with sadness, struggling for words. He started to cry and I told him if he cried I would hate him forever (I did not want to cry but knew I would if he started) and he gulped and kept his distance waving as we drove away. I could hardly breathe I was so sad. Here I was losing my closest comrade and faithful friend. Who knew what awaited me in another state and much bigger city?
Another "good-bye" that ripped at my heart was twofold. It was the first love of my life and I knew we needed to move on, that this relationship was deemed to be one of those brief but lasting first loves with lots of wonderful memories attached with time gone by. I knew in order for me to mature and make the emotional break that I needed to move far away and so I prayed hard and when the chance came I pulled up my stakes from this place and friends that I loved (I had hoped I would live there forever) and cried for years it seems over saying good-bye to not only my first love, the attachment and attraction, but to a closeknit group of church family and a best friend who is still my very best of friend - Liz. The heartache and choices at the time seemed monumental. It was the right thing to do because of my emotional attachment (which might have eventually caused me to marry for the wrong reasons) but still very hard because a dream of mine died and new dreams had to be pursued (though at the time this was impossible for me to grasp). I believed God would watch over all of us - pointing us to paths and being with us in our choice of paths so that in listening to Him our journeys might end better and for my part I believe it occured though perhaps not in the way I imagined. Does anything?
Another heart wrenching "good-bye" that comes to my mind was seeing my parents before I moved to Michigan and once again knowing my life would be changing in ways I wouldn't be able to fully comprehend at the time. As I drove away in my Toyota truck I could smell my Dad's aftershave "Old Spice" and my Mom's mixture of light perfume and baby powder. Just remembering this brings back those scents to my nostrils and the feelings I had about separation in the miles that I would be from them - I had lived many miles away before but somehow this seemed more permanent and it truly was . Funny how taste and smells can evoke memories? I cried most of the way from New Orleans to St Francisville driving and thinking about that "good-bye" (from depending so much on my parents to this unknown journey into adulthood and a fairly permanent career). What a journey it has been!
Although I despise "good-byes" the one aspect of this song that I imagine in the lyrics (which is actually between lovers and from my view that is an aspect of my relationship with God) is that as a Christian I believe good-byes are temporary even break ups will some how be reconciled to a degree. So my sadness can be felt fully and embraced because the change will bring maturity, if I choose it, and God will make good on all the times I have had to say "good-bye". I have experienced that reconciliation even here on earth and have learned to say "good-bye" more completely and allowed myself to cry because it was how I truly felt and somehow I know this is not the end. Embracing the feelings has encouraged me to appreciate the emotion in its full strength while also hoping that things would be renewed either with a new relationship or the mending of one torn or the understanding of the benefit of the "good-bye" for all involved. Good-byes are still difficult but so then they should be - good life equals good efforts which does not always equal an easy life. This is what I think.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Affirmative Action
I went to a conference this week in Lansing and was pleased to be surrounded by over 283 women in higher education in Michigan pretty much from all levels in the college and university environment----- even five (female) Michigan presidents including MSU and Marygrove.
Because this group is funded from the ACE (American Council on Education) many public colleges, universities, and community colleges were there and talking heavily about Affirmative Action and its potential demise in Michigan. I was informed Ward Connerly and his grossly funded group will strike in retaliation to the U of M court wins over the admission quotas similarly to his influence and win in California.
My opinion on the outset is that I am not about quotas but after hearing several conversations about what the downfall of this Affirmative Action might include I am concerned abit – will the death of Affirmative Action mean that state and federal monies might be disallowed for battered women’s clinics? or no more free prostrate screening for men because these are based on gender? What about the Center for Women Studies Department at U of M? I plan to watch this closely and surely pray common sense and true citizenship will prevail – we need to be one another’s keepers and although I am not sure exactly how that should play out and I certain we need to be treating one another justly and conscientiously. I do think the best should be honored but we need to be able to provide scholarship (private and public) focused at minorities desiring to succeed or have the opportunity to succeed – that is part of taking care of each other.
Because this group is funded from the ACE (American Council on Education) many public colleges, universities, and community colleges were there and talking heavily about Affirmative Action and its potential demise in Michigan. I was informed Ward Connerly and his grossly funded group will strike in retaliation to the U of M court wins over the admission quotas similarly to his influence and win in California.
My opinion on the outset is that I am not about quotas but after hearing several conversations about what the downfall of this Affirmative Action might include I am concerned abit – will the death of Affirmative Action mean that state and federal monies might be disallowed for battered women’s clinics? or no more free prostrate screening for men because these are based on gender? What about the Center for Women Studies Department at U of M? I plan to watch this closely and surely pray common sense and true citizenship will prevail – we need to be one another’s keepers and although I am not sure exactly how that should play out and I certain we need to be treating one another justly and conscientiously. I do think the best should be honored but we need to be able to provide scholarship (private and public) focused at minorities desiring to succeed or have the opportunity to succeed – that is part of taking care of each other.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Reality Commercials
As I was watching the NBA game last evening between the Pistons and the Heat I was, as was every other American watching any TV programming, assaulted by commercial after commercial espousing “coolness” (Jeep ad) and beer;Bud Light, and every other product you can think of that if you purchased or possessed would make your existence worth the while - so you might be led to believe.
And I think or would like to believe that if I had the funds and energy that I would launch a huge campaign challenging all these ad companies to help us, their audience, realize our true potential and not play to us like we are zombies walking around only concerned with image and status.
But then again, they, the marketing gurus, are very successful which must mean to some degree that we are zombies buying into to all the product placement and ad campaigns that help us know that by owning a new 2005 Jeep we will be “cool” cuz the ad shows a “cool” meter which says I am cool becuz I drive a Jeep.
I am very saddened by this and by my own acceptance of this influence.
If I could - my marketing genius would focus on wisdom so it might look something like this in commercial form:
Hip Hop music playing in the background and a good looking guy (he’s fresh and dressed to kill) in the Jeep cruising along with a pretty young lady at his side. The Jeep we see is beaming copper color and slows to stop at a red light – the “cool” meter appears and it is pointing at an all time high. The camera slowly turns and into the frame drives a clean but slightly rusted 1989 Honda Accord, windows are down and with a young guy slightly disheveled obviously a workingman behind the wheel rocking to a not so loud Eminmem song. The young male driver smiles and nods to us. Meanwhile we pan back to our slick couple in the Jeep who smile back when the moment is interrupted by a cell phone ringing with some mechanical sounding tune. Our Jeep guy not only has a cool Jeep but the latest technology in Cell phones and he smoothly whips out his phone and answers with a “Whasss up!” We are privy to the voice on the other end of the conversation and as the music abrubtly ends we hear a Verizon Rep state, “Mr. Smith we are sorry your cell phone service is being temporarily terminated but you haven't paid your $257.00 balance” There is a silent pause and the Rep continues with a “Can you hear me now?” Suddenly the cool meter pops up in front of our eyes overlaying the scene with Mr. Smith looking stunned and the “cool” meters reads at an all time low and typing out like a type writer on the screen we see the words:
Jeep - $550 a month,
Designer clothes - $850,
Cell Phone bill - $257.00/month.
Just as we are calculating this monstrous amount we hear that familiar male Master Card voice say “all the credit you ever wanted with a lifetime to hopefully pay it off”. Then the camera switches back to our workingman in the 1989 Honda Accord. And now we see typing out over the screen of our young working stiff the words:
1989 Honda Accord - $Paid for since 1994/$500 annual upkeep,
Working clothes - $company supplies
and Cell phone for emergency only - $150 annually.
The cool meter appears pointing to the "coolest" and then the word fades and reappearing is the word “smart” instead of “cool”.
Fade to black.
Wow! what a concept? ---that it is cool to be smart instead of taken. Oh, if the media moguls respected integrity over money?!
And I think or would like to believe that if I had the funds and energy that I would launch a huge campaign challenging all these ad companies to help us, their audience, realize our true potential and not play to us like we are zombies walking around only concerned with image and status.
But then again, they, the marketing gurus, are very successful which must mean to some degree that we are zombies buying into to all the product placement and ad campaigns that help us know that by owning a new 2005 Jeep we will be “cool” cuz the ad shows a “cool” meter which says I am cool becuz I drive a Jeep.
I am very saddened by this and by my own acceptance of this influence.
If I could - my marketing genius would focus on wisdom so it might look something like this in commercial form:
Hip Hop music playing in the background and a good looking guy (he’s fresh and dressed to kill) in the Jeep cruising along with a pretty young lady at his side. The Jeep we see is beaming copper color and slows to stop at a red light – the “cool” meter appears and it is pointing at an all time high. The camera slowly turns and into the frame drives a clean but slightly rusted 1989 Honda Accord, windows are down and with a young guy slightly disheveled obviously a workingman behind the wheel rocking to a not so loud Eminmem song. The young male driver smiles and nods to us. Meanwhile we pan back to our slick couple in the Jeep who smile back when the moment is interrupted by a cell phone ringing with some mechanical sounding tune. Our Jeep guy not only has a cool Jeep but the latest technology in Cell phones and he smoothly whips out his phone and answers with a “Whasss up!” We are privy to the voice on the other end of the conversation and as the music abrubtly ends we hear a Verizon Rep state, “Mr. Smith we are sorry your cell phone service is being temporarily terminated but you haven't paid your $257.00 balance” There is a silent pause and the Rep continues with a “Can you hear me now?” Suddenly the cool meter pops up in front of our eyes overlaying the scene with Mr. Smith looking stunned and the “cool” meters reads at an all time low and typing out like a type writer on the screen we see the words:
Jeep - $550 a month,
Designer clothes - $850,
Cell Phone bill - $257.00/month.
Just as we are calculating this monstrous amount we hear that familiar male Master Card voice say “all the credit you ever wanted with a lifetime to hopefully pay it off”. Then the camera switches back to our workingman in the 1989 Honda Accord. And now we see typing out over the screen of our young working stiff the words:
1989 Honda Accord - $Paid for since 1994/$500 annual upkeep,
Working clothes - $company supplies
and Cell phone for emergency only - $150 annually.
The cool meter appears pointing to the "coolest" and then the word fades and reappearing is the word “smart” instead of “cool”.
Fade to black.
Wow! what a concept? ---that it is cool to be smart instead of taken. Oh, if the media moguls respected integrity over money?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)