Included

Today I attended a seminar which is primarily held for preachers, teachers of God’s Word, and theologians. In any scenario I don’t truly rate as any of these but in some dimension of myself which I am hoping to eventually unveil what I think may be one of the first two. I am still very much in a stage of doubt and trepidation so I will tread softly and see what God opens or closes.

The seminar started at 1:00 p.m. Monday and featured Fred Craddock, whom I must admit, I not being a biblical scholar had never heard of him, but now I cannot imagine not having the benefit of the insight he demonstrated during his sermon on the book of Mark. Even now thinking about his way with explaining the text brings tears to my eyes which seem silly I know but he said some things that made me feel included. I often fall into the trap of fear and allow myself to feel small and not included but he spoke about how in Mark’s telling of the gospel that we, the reader, were privy to all the conversations and stories even more so than the disciples or those characters actually on the scene. He talked about how Mark told the story of the garden of Gethsemane in a way that was not pretty but somewhat abrupt and sort of a jagged black & white photo. The starkness of his rendition grabbed my attention as did his quiet southern tinged voiced and manner.

Before Dr. Craddock even put forth any of these thoughts, he read the text from Mark and one phrase stuck out to me is one I never remember reading before and that was that Jesus threw him self down to pray in the garden. “Threw himself down”, that seems so despairing and dramatic and as Craddock expounded that is exactly what he brought out –that Jesus was struggling, that this was not a portrait of a Jesus quietly kneeling to pray but one of writhing with anguish AND how difficult it must have been for the disciples to see him this way. Craddock paused effectively and stated “no wonder they slept – they couldn’t deal with the Jesus they were seeing”.

As Fred Craddock worked his way through his thoughts on the subject saying The Jesus the disciples were used to seeing and the one they probably hoped to view was one who had accomplished miracles, one who was turning tables over in the temple but not one desperate, hurting emotionally, and now pleading for his life in the garden. But the disciples invited to witness this missed this human outcry because they were unable to handle this reality as so often we sleep when things become overwhelming. It was a view I had not thought about before and Craddock’s way of sharing (intentionally gaited and quiet) and his insistence of Mark’s writing style as including us the reader made me certainly know I was suppose to be present not only here at this conference but present as part of the audience to Mark’s telling of the gospel. It was an “aha” moment.

I want to write more but I want to be quiet and ruminate on some of this knowing even now I will not grasp the entirety of it for sometime. My senses are hypersensitive and I am full of wonder. I want to enjoy the view currently encapsulating my heart and mind at this moment.